Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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