false alarm. still invincible.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
