I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
