If i come over, it means nothing
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
