She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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