the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
