if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
