You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
