im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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