I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
