marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
