also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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