So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
