Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize