Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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