just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize