just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
