There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
