All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
