I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
