Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
