So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
