so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
