Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
