My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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