woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
