Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
