I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My dick has a subreddit
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
