But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
