Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
