I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize