she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
