i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
