Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
