you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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