loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
