I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
