Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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