I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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