A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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