I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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