Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
