I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize