My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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