mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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