The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
