I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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