I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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