I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The ass gains better be worth it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
