so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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