You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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