oh god the rape fog is back!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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