when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
