it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
