yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
